Namaste, Donkey Girl

Here at Oh Sugar, Please, we like to dedicate some of time to being up in the gym, workin on our fitness.  It's the only way to balance out a steady diet of Riesling and salsa.  So when I was home from work on Monday, prepping for a final exam (my FINAL final exam, mind you), I took advantage of the opportunity to pop over to my gym and get in a mid-morning spinning class.  I love spinning classes - pumpin' jams in a dark room.  It was going to be a great chance to blow off some steam before my final and clear my head. 

I got to class a little early, as usual, so I could warm up and adjust the bike.  I'm mid-neck roll when some girl flits in the class (two seconds before it starts - rude) and takes the bike next to me.  Uh, sweetheart, this is 10:30 class on a MONDAY, it's not like we have to save space.  Agitation point no. 1.  How am I supposed to live out my winning the Tour de France for the 15th time fantasy with some clown next to me.  Whatever, namaste.  (I learned that in hot yoga - also a win). 

So we start the class.  The instructor's pumping the jams, as usual, and I'm really feeling it.  My Tour de France fantasy is in full force.  In my head, I'm so far ahead of everyone, they're all a day behind (is this possible?). All of the sudden, the sound of a donkey braying interupts my daydream as this clown next to me shouts to the instructor:  "CAN YOU BRAAAAAAY CALL OUT THE INTERALS BRAAAAAAAAY SO I KNOW HOW LONG WE'RE GOING BRAAAAAAAY".  Agitation point no. 2.  She's a hot mess, leaning over her bike and clearly counting down the seconds until this class is over (which is why she needs to know how long she has in any one position/resistance combo).  Lame.  Whatever, namaste.  Back to France. 

Clown girl goes a while longer without disturbing my amazing performance in spin class (I was really kicking it that day).  Then AGAIN, without warning, the donkey bray:  "CAN YOU BRAAAAAAY TURN UP THE MUSIC BRAAAAAAAAY".  Agitation point no. 3.  Really, B? This music is loud.  And you need it louder?  Oh, right, I forgot.  You're trying to make your body forget that its actually working right now.  Namaste, donkey girl. 

We finish up the workout and move into the cooldown, stretch sequence.  The instructor turns down the music and leads us through some stretches.  I'm loving the post workout cooldown when, ONE MORE TIME, the donkey bray:  "CAN YOU BRAAAAAY TURN DOWN THE MUSIC BRAAAAAY".  Agitation point no. 4.  Honey, this ain't your living room and this ain't your private lesson.  If you have so many needs that must be accomodated when you work out, hire a trainer or work out on your own.  No Namaste for you.