I Hate You Drunk Couple...But Goddamnit I Respect You

Last night after a lovely dinner at Legal Sea Foods with a friend, we decided to hit Clyde's for a nightcap.  It was around 9:30pm.  If you don't know Clyde's is a kind of up-scale-ish bar/restaurant.  It's not a dive and especially at 9:30, it's a pretty low-key place. 

Anyway, we get there, go to a relatively empty bar, and order our drinks.  To our left was a man who was easily in his 50s.  He was very loud and boisterous.  He was also incredibly unattractive and was rocking a solid pair of saggy man-boobs in an Under Armour.  My friend pointed out that Under Armour, should be reserved for those working out and for those who have some sort of athletic physique, but honey badger at the bar did not care.  His date was a pretty attractive brunette who was much younger.  Much. Younger.  There had to be a fifteen year age difference between these two.  But the disparities in their attractive levels wasn't what caught my attention--this is DC and you see couples like that on the regular.  No, it was something else that riveted me more than the triple overtime in the Caps game.   

This couple I guess decided that their appetizer would be each other's faces because they would NOT. STOP. MAKING. OUT!!!!  They were going to TOWN!  At 9:30pm.  At Clyde's.  It was so gross and so incredible.  I hated them for it, but I also respected them for putting on that display.  My respect for them only grew when the food they ordered came and it consisted of not one, not two, but three steaks.  It was the woman who ate the extra steak.  The "just-friends" couple who was sitting next to us (and who were harassed by the gross guy saying, "Kiss her!  She's a woman, you're a man!  Kiss her!  Just do it!  Here I'll show you how!" and then he made out with his lady some more) asked how could they be hungry when they filled up on swapping saliva just minutes ago.  The whole thing was like a car accident--horrific but you can't stop looking.   

My friend and I made fun of the make-out couple to no end.  Who does that?!  Making out at a bar is rarely appropriate and definitely not before midnight!  As horrified as I was and as much as that couple made my gag reflex want to give way, we still high-fived them as they stumbled out at 10:30.  Because we may not have appreciated their bar etiquette, you must give props where props are due.