What Your Cocktail Says About You

You may not realize it, but your drink choice sends a message to your fellow revelers. Choose wisely, my sugahs:

White Wine:
Ordered by a girl: I'm nut crazy about maintaining my personal appearance. Red wine will stain my teeth and beers/mixed drinks will add unwanted ounces/pounds. My fridge is stocked solely with celery and lean cuisines (for splurging).
Order by a guy: I'm trying to get into White Wine Girl's pants.

Dirty Martini
Ordered by a girl: I am one confident, take no prisoners, make it or break it powerwoman. Get in my way and I'll stab you with my stiletto.
Ordered by a guy: I'm trying to get into Dirty Martini's Girl's pants.

Lite Beer:
Ordered by a girl: OMG I AM FINALLY 21!
Ordered by a guy: OMG I AM FINALLY 21! Dang. Lite Beer girl is hot.

Margarita
Ordered by a girl: SPLURGE NIGHT with my BESTIES!! My pants won't fit tomorrow.
Ordered by a guy: I'm trying to get into Margarita Girl's pants.

Bourbon
Ordered by a girl: Where's my derby hat? What? You mean it's not Derby Day?
Ordered by a guy: I'm going to watch MadMen after I get into Bourbon Girl's pants.

Lager
Ordered by a girl: I can drink you under the table.
Ordered by a guy: I'm trying to get into Lager Girl's pants. Or Bourbon, Margarita, Lite Beer, Dirty Martini or White Wine Girl. Really, any girl will do.

Diet Coke:
Ordered by a girl: Cough, Cough i'm sick.
Ordered by a guy: Girls? Who needs girls? I've got my mother.