Look, anyone who knows me, knows I'm a hardworking lady. On average, I spend about 14 hours a day engaged in some form or another of intellectual activity. And while I love that kind of challenge, when I get home, I'm ready to turn it off for a little while and watch some TV that will absolutely not force me to think in any way, whatsoever. So here it is, my favorite ways to dumb it down after a long day.
1. Toddlers & Tiaras
Whoever thought this gem up should be given an award. Even though every mother on this show is clearly a stage mother and the children either (a) hate what their doing or (b) are being bred for a career involving a pole, I CANNOT break myself away. And somehow, every time I watch an episode, I find myself wondering which of my friends will let me borrow their child to groom for pageant life.
2. Dancing with the Stars
This is pure genius. Let's take B-list and lower celebrities and give them their second shot at 15 minutes of fame by teaching them how to do something they know absolutely NOTHING about. Pure. Genius.
3. Real Housewives of New Jersey
If you haven't caught on yet to the Real Housewives series, you are sorely missing out. Women with money (from husbands, family or careers) spend an hour a week showing America just how well they can spend their money and just how poorly they can behave. In the New Jersey edition, every stereotype of Jersey living is amplified. Each episode is chock-full of big hair, glitter, faux fur, tight dresses and the occasional reference to organized crime. It never fails to bring out my inner Jersey girl.
4. Real Housewives of Orange County
"RHOC," as us admitted Bravo TV addicts call it, merits separate mention from New Jersey (and separate mention from all the other cities). RHOC is the original Real Housewives, and boy, it is a winner. There's more plastic in any one room on that show at any given time than there in an entire Mattel factory. Despite the fact that I'm appalled by all the name calling and ridiculous attempts at having a "career," I still ask my hairdresser to cut my hair like Gretchen's every time.
5. Glee
If I get home super late from work, I will stay up even super later just to watch Glee on DVR. Are the story lines anything new? No, of course not. Every week presents new teenage angst. He likes her, but she likes him and she wants to be on Broadway and Sue Sylvester is out to destroy them all. Still, it makes me want to start my own Glee club. And believe you me, my Glee club would have some seriously stellar performances.
6. Man v. Food
America at its best. What is more American that watching a man (or even better, being the man) who literally stuffs his face with more food than humanly possible JUST to see if he can do it and not die? I often think that I could do one of the hot wing challenges. And then I remember how much I cried after nuclear wings at Buffalo Wild Wings.
7. Family Guy
I admit it openly. Crass humor makes me giggle. There's something so refreshing about a baby endeavoring to take over the entire world (and take out his mother in the process).
8. South Park
There's something wonderful about South Park - they literally make fun of everybody. And I mean everybody. Mormons, Catholics, Republicans, Democrats, Rainforest activists, WWE wrestlers, Rednecks, the cast of the Jersey Shore. It's Equal Opportunity Humor. You can't go wrong.
9. My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding
More television brilliance. If you haven't seen this yet (it's on TLC), you absolutely MUST. It follows young gypsy women (and by young, I mean 13-18 on average) who are marrying their gypsy husbands. These gowns are out of this world! Just last week, I actually saw a girl who had her gown wired with lighting. While the gypsies are strict about male-female interaction before marriage, the young women wear clothes made with less fabric than a newborn onesie and dance like Britney a la Slave 4 U. Wrap your head around that.
10. Say Yes to the Dress
Weddings clearly provide fodder for exploiting already heightened emotions. And nothing is more easily exploited than selecting "THE DRESS." In yet another winner from TLC, brides and their moms/family/friends/in-laws shop for the most important dress the bride will ever wear. Inevitably, there will be a blow up. The bride has a different vision of her dress than the people she's selected to help her pick out her gown. Or, the bride has fallen in love with a gown 3 times more expensive than her budget. Nothing, however, nothing, is more wonderful than when the bride selects a gown (which a number of bride have on the gown) that is literally a see through corset with a poofy skirt. Nothing says sacred vows more than a bustier attached to tulle.
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