Just Be Normal, Please!

So the other night on the way to class, I hopped on the metro at the Pentagon metro stop and was greeted by some dude’s bent over ass.  I’m guessing he was coming back from a run since he was dressed in workout clothes including bright orange running shoes.  He must have had a really intense workout because dude needed to stretch.  He was doing legit full out runner’s stretches in the metro using the bars and poles for support.  I wanted to approach him for a myriad of reasons to tell him: 1) stop stretching on the metro, it’s weird; 2) if you want to do a workout that involves poles and bars, try a power barre class; (I’m obsessed) 3) when you bend just so, I can see your wenus and I really don’t want to see that.   Just be normal. 
 
This encounter made me think of people who have absolutely no shame and do things in the wrong place at the wrong time (like changing a diaper at a table).  I’m well aware that I’m super type-A and compartmentalize everything in my life, but I don’t think it’s asking too much to ask a dude to do his stretching in the gym or at home, but not on the metro.  You look flipping ridiculous!
 
Another example of my rage at a person’s lack of self-awareness was a few weeks ago when I saw a girl doing her makeup on the metro (the metro is clearly a source of rage for me).  Like, why couldn’t she take five minutes at home and do it?  Instead I had to watch her over-apply mascara (I timed her, she spent three minutes gooping it on).  I wanted to approach her to tell her: 1) stop putting makeup on on the metro; 2) you’re doing it wrong anyway; 3) wake-up earlier and be socially normal!  No one else is putting on make-up right now!  WTF?!
 
I used to work for a man who also had zero sense of self-awareness.  He was this total new age guy, which is fine.  Live and let live is what I say (the caveat to that is that I will be judging you behind your back).   It always boggled my mind that he had no problem sitting in lotus position not only in his office chair, but at firm meetings, client meetings, depositions and even at trial.  I had to resist the urge to scream at him, “LOOK HOW EVERYONE ELSE IS SITTING AROUND YOU!!!!  SIT LIKE THEM!!!”
 
It’s not that hard to take a look around, see how everyone else is acting, and just pay attention to what they’re doing, or more importantly what they’re not doing (I’m looking at you girl who sits next to me in class eating microwaved fish).  It makes my life more comfortable and really, making me comfortable should be everyone’s end goal.